Short story: Two way road

“You know I lost my virginity much later than people would usually think.” 

Padmaja told me as we sat around the waiting room waiting for Dr. Kashyap. She seemed lost in thought staring at the aquarium as she said it. 

I knew what she meant. First time I met her she was a virgin and it surprised me as well. I mean looking at her and her lifestyle you can’t tell she stayed away from sex for that long. Her friends often laughed at her, “Who are you saving it for you silly girl? Your knight in shining armour?” 

And some of her feminist friends categorically told her if she was saving her virginity for some man she is going to marry she is totally being a victim of patriarchy. They said, ‘virginity’ by definition is gender discrimination and she should never fall for it. Padmaja now agrees to this thought. Virginity and the hype around it is indeed a method of disrespectful objectification of women. 

But back then in her late teens and early 20s she didn’t care so much about either virginity or feminism. She just wanted her first time to be a nice time. She didn’t want it to be an open and shut case. Drop your pants and bang bang. She wanted the romance; she wanted to spend time with the man before she had sex with him, she wanted to take a moonlight walk holding hands to build up the excitement and all that. But things could never happen that way because she was never into a committed relationship.

This is an instant world, every body want things at the click of a button, why would a guy spend a whole day building a fairy tale like romance just for a fuck. So she used to go out with all kinds of men all the time and encouraged them in her obvious ways but the moment they said, “How about you come inside” she would chicken out. She’ll say “Not today, another time,” and would drive away. 

Not that she didn’t want to. She realized it was not making sense at all to remain a virgin when she aspired to be this sex goddess who every body thought was boning some random guy every night. It made her upset at times because she felt she was living a lie. This one time after she said ‘No’ to a guy and drove away, she thought, “May be he shouldn’t have asked for my permission, should have just pulled me in.” 

It was a common friend’s reception party. Padmaja was supposed to be there with 5 other common friends. It was a long drive from west Delhi to Noida. So she decided to drive till Chanakya Puri, park her car at Suresh’s place and go with him in his bike. 

Padmaja never liked Suresh much. First, he had this ‘I know all’ attitude towards everything and second, he was a constant talker. He can talk you to death, no matter what topic or situation he would be the first to start yapping. He did it in the understanding that no one else in the group can possibly have more wisdom than him because not only was he much elder to the rest but was also a certified intellectual for he was an IAS officer.  The rest of the gang was quite fond of his ass which they used to lick all the time and Padmaja just couldn’t stand the fact that he hogged the lime light more than her.

Yet she decided to accompany him to the reception. Oh well he was smart hot and handsome what else do you need in a date. Never mind the fact that he was married. It was a long distance marriage anyway. 

It was 1’o clock in the morning when they reached back Suresh’s place from Noida. It was November; she was wearing a black chiffon saree, needless to say she was shivering. Suresh asked, “You wanna come upstairs have a couple of drink and then go?”

She kinda liked the idea. It wasn’t the first time she was coming to his place. The common friends circle have spent many nights here drinking smoking listening to music, laughing and generally having a good time. Though this would be the first time it was just the two of them but then they were just friends. So this time, for a change she said, “ok.”

What was she thinking saying yes to an offer of drinks at this hour of the night alone with a man in his apartment? Well she was thinking, “Naah, nothing would happen, Sreena, Ann they both have been with him alone, nothing happened between them. He is married.” 

They went upstairs. Suresh always used to keep a high range of alcohol in his home. He had great taste in that area. So he quickly made a nice drink for her and they both sat on the mattress, keeping more than enough distance between each other.

Like I said, Suresh was a talker, a smooth talker. He kept talking and she kept nodding and hours passed like that. Two drinks went down; phone calls were made at home saying, “I am staying over at Sreena’s place”, third drink was in her hands when Suresh said, “Why don’t you change into something comfortable.” He gave her a khadi kurta.

When she came back to the room after changing in the Kurta, Suresh noticed she was still wearing the petticoat under the kurta. “You can take that off as well Padma my child.” 

That was the most annoying thing about him. Padmaja couldn’t stand this habit of his showing too much of care and concern about her life. Like she is this little kid and he must take care of her and guide her in everything. He would often give unsolicited advice and guidance to her about her life. 

“Ugh, now this also he has to decide whether I want to wear something under the Kurta or not. Who does he think he is? And what is this ‘my child’ shit now” She thought but only said, “No am ok.” 

The small talks went on for another hour or so. Finally they both were tired and wanted to sleep. 

“Where will you sleep?” Padmaja asked him. 

He said, “Here in this room. And you go sleep in my bed room.” 

“No no, you sleep in your bed room. I will sleep here, I’ll be fine here.” 

“My child, you are the guest, you would sleep in the bed. The host on the mattress.” 

“Ugh the my child again.” She didn’t argue much though. Just said, “Ok then. Good night.” 

“Wait let me make the bed for you, dear.” He was as always extremely warm and concerned.

So they both walked towards the bed room. He tossed the bed sheet, removed the piles of clothes lying on it, arranged the pillows etc. Padmaja quickly climbed up and lied down saying “Good night” and he pulled the blanket on her. 

“I’ll switch off the light?” He said in a half question half information tone. As his hands reached out to the switch to turn off the light, he said, “Do you mind if I sleep here next to you?”

The lights were still on, she just looked at him trying to find something to say. It wasn’t even two seconds of thinking and he planted a quick and long kiss on her lips. He was too fast and overpowering. There was no looking back after the kiss. As he took off her kurta he moaned, “Oh baby I wanted to do this ever since I’ve met you.” “Tell me something new” she thought and stopped thinking thereafter.

I can tell she was not very happy about the whole thing but she didn’t blame him. “After all what was I thinking saying yes to an offer of drinks at that hour of the night alone with a man in his apartment?” She told me every time we discussed it.

Dr. Kashyap came out of her chamber and waived at us. She held the report in her hand and smiled faintly. We both got up and walked towards her chamber.

As we walked Padmaja said, “You know it was the first time, wasn’t something I had good practice of, I still had some elements of shyness in me, so much so that I forgot all about something called a condom. I asked him after we both were done with it, “Hey I never saw you wearing a condom.” He said, “I didn’t. I don’t use condom when I am confident the girl is clean.” 

Mrs. Kashayap assured us it wasn’t the end of the world. We knew that too but things could have been different if that moron knew it’s a freaking two way road.