The lost soulmate (Part 2)

[First part is here]

That night after making love, she brought up the topic.

“Hey, may be its time we tell our parents about us, what do you think?” She asked lying in his arms.

“Ya, I guess. I don’t know how they would handle the shock though. God it’s going to be tough, it just worries me so much.” He sounded very worried.

“It wouldn’t be a ‘shock’ honey. They already know we are close friends right?”

“Ya, they know we are friends, but that’s it, nothing more.”

“Honey, don’t worry, it wouldn’t be so tough. Just let me meet them once, I’ll win their hearts right away.” She smiled and nuzzled a bit on his chest and said, “And they’ll see their son got the best in the world.” She sounded chirpy towards the end of the statement.

“No, I don’t know, I am not sure if it’s that simple, you know. I mean I’ll see what I can do but I can’t promise anything” He was worried but he was calm.

Farah is usually a calm person too and at this point she simply lost her speech. The words ‘can’t promise anything’ didn’t sound right to her. “Who is waiting for him to promise me anything I have already gained him, haven’t I?” she asked herself.

She didn’t know the relationship that stood over a decade was still waiting for a confirmation; the celebration of their love was still waiting for a promise from Sachin. She didn’t know it was still contingent upon external factors. She had a quick flash back and realized Sachin never promised her anything. True there was never a discussion about marriage or children and she didn’t exactly ask him to promise her a marriage. She always thought promises are not meant to be given or taken, they are meant to be felt within, which, she thought, they did.

Farah turned around and looked into his eyes, “Sachin, don’t tell me you are not sure. This is us Sachin, how can you be not sure. I thought we were always sure, weren’t we? I didn’t know you were still waiting for external factors for us to be sure, Sachin”

“The external factors are my parents Farah, I am nothing without them. And don’t tell me you didn’t see this coming, I mean you are a Muslim, I am a Brahmin, you know how orthodox my family is, I told you remember. Anyway, let me think about it, let me see what can I do. Relax.” Sachin patted her trying to make her go sleep.

“Well, we don’t really have another way you know, I mean it’s not like we’d give up on each other anyway. That’s not gonna happen right? They would just have to be practical. I know it would probably be tough on them to deal with it but they don’t have a choice, do they? I mean it’s our lives you know. If they don’t accept this marriage we’d go ahead with it anyway, time will take care of the hurt and then everything would be just fine, all in good time.” Farah already had the fear of losing him but she did put up a great fight.

She couldn’t win though. Sachin decided to part ways because his parents didn’t approve of the relationship. The last time they met they both cried for hours holding each other. Farah insisted him to not put an end, she insisted that they should go ahead with their marriage plans and rest of the things would fall in place eventually. She had also gathered all information regarding a Court marriage.

But Sachin didn’t want to do anything to hurt his parents. It was not easy for him to handle the pain of separation. In less than a week he had become pale and fragile. He knew no other woman would ever be able to take Farah’s place. Yet, he begged Farah to release him from her love. He said they would both go to hell if they hurt his parents and he wouldn’t be able to live through the rest of his life in peace if she didn’t make him free.

At last Farah gave in. She didn’t want to go to hell by hurting the old couple who had no one else but Sachin. She didn’t want to build her home over broken hearts.

So that night when they made love for one last time they made a promise to each other – that if not in life, they would meet in death. That night, half of their souls were caged forever in one corner of their body and the other half was let off to wander about for the rest of their lives till their bodies were no more and they promised that the wandering souls would meet each other after death at heaven’s gate.

The wandering souls remained in pain and restlessness and waited for the body to die so that they could leave for heaven and meet each other. The caged souls lived the life they were meant to live, forever longing for love.

As expected Sachin married a nice girl his parents got for him. They had two kids and he spent his entire life making them happy and taking care of his ailing parents and died at the age of 71. His body remained faithful to his wife always but his heart forever longed for Farah. He could never forgive himself for breaking Farah’s heart. He realized he didn’t have the courage to stand up for his love. He confessed to his wandering soul that he chose the easy way out, that he didn’t even try.

Sachin never could love his wife either and she knew that. It was not like he was mean to her or anything but there were small things that showed that what he had for her was a lot of care and affection but not love. Like, he would get all worried if she coughed or sneezed, before leaving for work he would advice her again and again not to do any of the chores for the day and take complete rest, but he won’t kiss her bye right before stepping out the door. He wouldn’t come home with flowers. If they would go to a movie he wouldn’t hold her hands. If she held his hands he wouldn’t press it back or caress it. While making love he would never leave the lights on, never really look deep into her eyes. After making love he wouldn’t wrap her naked body in his arms, instead he would get dressed drink water and check on the kids and sleep.

For a very brief period at the start of their marriage Sachin’s wife was sad about the lack of love but eventually she learnt to live like that. She knew that a life sans love was handed to her the day she agreed to an arranged marriage.

Farah never got married. She lived a fast and stressful life where there was no time for relationships. She gave in heavily to smoking, drinking and purposeless sex. After the break up with Sachin she particularly became rude and selfish. For a long time she didn’t date anybody. She was totally submerged into studies and all she aspired and dreamt of was to become an entrepreneur.

She launched a creative media platform for corporate professionals. It was one of a kind and was a runaway success. The platform promoted and helped people working in white collar jobs to explore their creative side. When this start up was launched there was this guy from her college she was casually dating. He fell in love with her smartness and success and wanted to marry her. But she turned him down because she didn’t want responsibilities. She dedicated herself to the company’s growth. After that there was no serious relationships but many flings. She would often sleep with men for selfish reasons. Sometimes because that would help her company grow, sometimes because it gave her an ego boost and sometimes simply because she was horny.

She gained popularity and respect from people far and wide for her work. She won the best young entrepreneur award, most unique start up award, youngest female achiever award and more. When asked about her personal life and why she was single she used to often smile and say, “Well I spend my life doing the amount of work that ten working women cannot do collectively and I make more money than the top ten young entrepreneurs of the country collectively make, but forgive me I don’t have the brain to understand marriage. I mean one man for all your life? No chasing the men, no flirting. Kinda weird for me. Moreover I am very happy in doing what I am doing and I couldn’t have asked for more from my life.”

Behind her fast and bizarre lifestyle however was a sad and lonely person. Behind the strength and determination was a weak and unstable mind. At the end of the success parties when all the champagne were over Farah’s heart used to cry silent tears. So silent that even her mind couldn’t hear them.

On all those nights when she laid on an empty bed and those nights when she got up and got dressed, picked up the car keys and left the guy’s place after a random sex, her heart cried for Sachin, her one true love, the one love for which she would have given up all of the money and success.

She died before Sachin did and waited for him at Heaven’s door. He never came. She waited for almost an eternity but he didn’t come. She thought, “It was not supposed to be like this. We are soul mates. We’ve got to meet. I don’t understand what went wrong.”

(To be continued)